*Please note the first part of this article was written by Joanna Ciolek and was taken directly from acesconnection.com. This is not the intellectual property of The Move to Heal Project.
We are emotional creatures, and we were born to express emotions freely and openly. Somewhere along the way, however, many of us learned to repress emotions, especially those deemed “negative,” in order to fit in, earn love, and be accepted. This was my experience.
I grew up in a home where the motto was “Children are to be seen, not heard.” There was little emotional expression allowed, let alone accepted. No one was there to validate or help us process emotions in a healthy way. Anger was met with anger, fear went unacknowledged, and there was plenty of shame to go around.
My parents didn’t model how to deal with difficult emotions, as they struggled with that themselves. When those emotions showed up, I often felt overwhelmed and inadequate, ashamed of my failure to be a “good girl.”
I learned to bury my pain deep inside, feeling invisible, ashamed, angry, alone, and unable to ask for what I needed. Trying to hide the pain—from others and myself—I built walls, put on masks, and soldiered on. For better or worse.
My pain was buried so deep, I didn’t realize it was there until I had my own children. Motherhood opened up old wounds, the house of cards fell apart, and I began to unravel.
In my thirties, faced with growing angst and creeping depression—and motivated to be the best parent I could be to my children—I began to deal with repressed memories and old emotional residue that has left me suffering from C-PTSD, chronic back pain, sciatica, headaches, and anxiety.
As a child, I hid from the emotional pain by delving into the world of books, music, and academics. As an adult, I realized I was strong enough to face it. I wasn’t a little child anymore; I didn’t have to hide. Now I was more mature and had resources I needed to finally face the pain that used to overwhelm my young brain—and begin to heal it.
The truth is, we all hide our emotions occasionally. We pretend, avoid, and deny uncomfortable emotions in an effort of self-preservation, as a defense mechanism.
We do this most often with difficult emotions like shame, fear, or anger. When we experience events that emotionally overwhelm us and we’re unable to process what is happening, accept our emotions, and express them through our body and mind, we hide them deep inside us where others can’t see them. And we end up hiding them from ourselves too. Yet, they’re still there.
The unresolved emotions get trapped in our body where they build and fester, draining our energy, leading to burnout, emotional imbalance, and eventually disease. When we chronically repress emotions, we create toxicity in our body, mind, and heart.
This unprocessed emotional energy is stored in our organs, muscles, and tissues. It leads to inflammation and chronic health problems, and it undermines our overall well-being.
So what do we do then? How do we process emotional energy stuck in the body?
(If you’d like to read the rest of Joannas article, it can be found here:
https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/how-to-release-emotions-stuck-in-your-body)
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(These thoughts below are the thoughts and reflections from the Move to Heal Community Founder).
*Allow yourself to release the feeling in the body:
For example- think about back to when you were in Kindergarten and the teacher told you to sit still. We were told from a young age to restrain ourselves from movement, yet it is actually a completely normal response for the body to reflect what the mind is thinking. Think about the last time you were overjoyed, surprised, or excited. What was happening in your body? What about a time you felt scared or nervous? Emotions can get stuck in the body if we push them down, avoid them and don’t give them a way out.
The next time you are feeling angry, what does it feel like to (safely) physically release it? High intensity activities can sometimes be a useful gateway ie Sprinting, Tabata, Plyometrics, HIIT
*Allow yourself to release the feeling from the mind:
For example, if you all of a sudden feel sadness or fear and would normally otherwise push these feelings aside, try going to a safe space instead (ie a stairwell, single washroom, a [well lit, safe] alleyway if you’re at work, or a nook in your own. home) and release it. Journal, paint, scream, cry. Fun tidbit: Emotional tears (tears that happen during a good cry) contain additional proteins and hormones that may have relaxing or pain relieving effects that help regulate the body and return it to its natural state (info via healthline).
*Learn how to Self Care- Chances are, if you have been avoiding emotion or pushing it aside, your reflex to self care may need some attention. When intense emotions arise, what are you choosing to say to yourself in those moments? What about after? Are those thoughts rooted in compassion or in self loathing? [Also- the blog portion of our site was created specifically to let others know that those big emotions you are feeling- others have felt them too. It’s a reminder that you can make it through this feeling, this day, this week. You are not alone!] Start by keeping a basic self-care list somewhere you can see it. If you aren’t sure what you need to soothe or calm yourself, or to take care of yourself, try experimenting and noticing; how do you feel after a bath? How do you feel if you light some candles? What about underneath some cozy blankets?
Addressing and releasing emotions is going to look different for everyone. Note- that if you feel extremely overwhelmed or alone, we urge you to remember that the support of a licensed professional is always available! You were not meant to do hard things alone and in some cases, with some people, additional support is key.
If you have a way of releasing emotions via fitness or a helping writing exercise, we would love to hear from you. Come say hi on IG @MoveToHealProject